I always hear about these people who have some revelation about life and how they go about living it, and then change their ways completely. Most people like to call this revelation, prison, but for those of us who haven’t been there and still have this change of heart or whatever you want to call it, why does it happen?
Within the past 48 hours, I feel like I had one of those moments happen to me. We’re talking about something that’s happened before, more than once, and it just sorta hit me. It was along the lines of, “What in the hell am I doing and why haven’t I thought about this before?” It’s like putting yourself on auto pilot and just thinking, yeah yeah…no big deal, not like this is some life changing moment or anything. But then the more I think about it, I come to another question. A lot of these moments involved other people,so when do you draw the line between what is the best scenario for yourself and what’s best for everyone else? And which do you usually choose?
Going off to college has taught me a lot (including how to do my own laundry). You have to interact with all these different people day in and day out, you’re basically in your own “town” with all the dorms and what not going on around you. You’ll meet new friends, you’ll find out more about yourself and you’ll make decisions that could alter your life. We’ve all been there at one point or another, and of course there are those regrettable moments but hey…it happens. But that whole scenario thing comes into question yet again. Are you doing what is best for only you? Or best for everyone else? Now a lot of this can go off personality, yeah of course, but what really constitutes selfishness from self well-being?
Now I know this all seems like I’m asking question after question here, but it’s definitely something that should be in play although we don’t always tend to think about those kinds of things before we make our actions. Nine times out of ten we would all rather act/do act on impulse without reviewing the ups and downs of what could really end up happening in the long run. Then come along these revelations that all of a sudden make you realize you were stupid or did the wrong thing. It is things like this that drive me insane…absolutely insane. For anyone who knows me especially, I will act on emotion over logic 99% of the time for most things. My mood will swing what I decide on and what I end up doing overall…nonetheless possibly hindering other people’s lives in some way or perhaps benefiting them. Not a feeling anyone should really enjoy and it’s especially one that I don’t.
I do understand that much of the time, we don’t have this time to rethink things and we have to act quickly which leads to a more habitual decision. We’re all more comfortable with something we previously know about rather than the unknown. Or even when someone’s life is in your hands…
I think one of the best examples of something like this is medical care. I could honestly not tell you how much it amazes me that surgeons and other hospital staff are given hundreds if not thousands of lives to help heal every week. But not only through the doctors but the families of the patients themselves, if not the patient there are so many decisions that can send shockwaves through this entire group as a whole. Sometimes it’s not even the medical problem; for all you know it could be financial problems or even how your own home life can alter many things. What is best for the parties involved? What happens if an alternate route is taken? In many ways, we are all our own doctors having to go through all these kinds of decisions affecting other people’s lives. The CEOs of major companies hold the fates of thousands upon millions of employees and when it comes down to it, will they make the benefits to best himself or everyone else involved? A mother’s child has an event going on tomorrow night, but she has found extra hours to work when money is tight and they just happen to be the same time as her child’s event. What does she do? Bypass the event and go to work leaving the kid upset that no one was there? Or go to the event knowing that she had lost out on extra money to help her family? Ultimately, it’s a game of “would you rather?”
Like I said before, anything could be in play as far as decisions like this are concerned, but almost always are emotions at the core, the thing that can guide your final decision. Nothing like this comes easy once you think about it. Just look back at the most simple of decisions where someone else was involved…was the outcome good or bad? Did it help benefit everyone involved? Just you? The other person(s)?
Although I may never be able to understand the exact line between selfishness and self well-being, it’s an ongoing process. Slowly we all learn to work at these kinds of things, but only if we really want to. I know I want the best I can get for myself, but I know I would want the same for anyone else out there. This is the case with so many people, but everyone has a difficult time showing it on a 24/7 basis which sucks. But hey…we’re human; creatures of impulse and at times…downright stupid (including myself).
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Serenity
I realize not all of you may be religious, but this just made sense to me and I started writing...
For as long as I can remember, I've encountered setbacks and instances where I am unable to achieve what I set out to do or attempt to change those things that prevent me to do so. And be it odd that I find comfort in something that originated from AA meetings, it makes so much sense.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Since I heard the Serenity Prayer years ago, I’ve come back to it time and time again when I don’t know where to go, how to handle myself in situations, or just need a change of pace. I even ended up using it as the base for a speech I gave a few years back to a youth group and I ended up looking back at that the other night just to really see how I went about myself 3 years ago. And while I was reading it, so many things just began to hit me.
• Everyday I see hundreds of people across campus, constantly relying on one another to achieve certain goals, meet deadlines or just carry out their days. I’ve also seen what happens when someone fails in doing so and the other people involved just become lost. Truth is, no matter whom we are or what we do, if we can’t hold any sense of being independent from one another or feeling like we are unable to achieve anything by ourselves, we aren’t going to get very far. Especially being in college and with so much going on around me, my time here is all about independency. I can never rely on just one person, one friend or one professor; I am going to encounter things that I will have to go through myself such as finishing a term paper, creating a proper day-to-day schedule to keep myself on track, or just make decisions that could impact me for the rest of my life. Only God knows how many decisions I’ve already had to make on my own, but with every decision came a dwelling point which brings me to my next point…
• Dwelling on the past and taking the steps to move past it is easy for some and tough for others. The acceptance that it takes to take in what goes on around you, the courage to realize it and the strength to move on go hand in hand, day after day. People are always looking for something constant, but things that seem still are still changing whether we would like to face that fact or not, and it’s something we’ll face every day. It’s where the drama originates; it’s where people become frustrated with each other, where life takes its hardest hardships. For years I have admired the ability of some people to just move on past no matter what happens to them in their lifetime without even thinking twice about how personal something may be, but it also makes me wonder how much different things could be if we all took that effect.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13
Last year, I met a woman who lost her family in the 9/11 attacks. In speaking with her, she said not a day goes by where she feels like there was something that she could have done to change what happened that day, but that all in all, what happened has happened and she must move on no matter what the circumstances. And even hearing the tone of her voice to the words she was saying, and even only knowing this woman for a few seconds just made me think about it…a woman had just lost her husband of 25 years and her twin daughters who had just graduated summa cum laude from the University of Pittsburgh, not to mention this was mostly the last family she had left and they were taken away from her. All of this was something I know I would have such a difficult time trying to overcome and probably to this day still wouldn’t be able to overcome. Tragedies of all kinds take strength, a calm mind and so much faith just to get by day in and day out.
“Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4
And to think that if someone like this woman was able to move past such a tough moment in her life, anyone should be able to say, “Hey…tomorrow is a brand new day, I need to live it one day at a time, enjoy one moment at a time and appreciate every possible second that I'm given, because no matter what may go wrong, there is the most simple of silver linings to everything.”
• I’ve never been able to understand wisdom, where it comes from, or if I’ll ever have any myself. I’ve made more than my share of foolish decisions, many which have hindered me from creating happiness for myself and for everyone around me without thinking things through or even asking for advice. And I couldn’t even begin to fathom how extremely wrong it is to just jump into something headfirst without thinking things through. I’ve been guilty of doing so time and time again, yet the more it happens, the more I learn. I may be completely selfish in doing so, but in so many instances I’ve realized the difference between what I can control and what I can’t. Which in terms, ends up bringing me right back to the beginning of the prayer.
• I’ve always been one to over-elaborate things I may encounter, but that is who I am and I can’t be disappointed with the fact that that is how things are. Yet over the past couple months, I have realized I’ve only been a mere shell of what I used to be. I have pushed people away, I have hurt those that I care about, I’ve focused on things that I shouldn’t be focused on, just not been the person I should be and thanks to that…lost close friends and people I care about.
But like I said, every time I feel lost or not myself, I find myself coming back to this prayer. It speaks for so many instances in life, especially lately and has ultimately made me realize so much: Take things a day at a time, realize and take in what happens around you no matter the smallest thing, never smother the things you love, respect anyone you come in contact with, enjoy every minute of life, and just accept the inevitable…it may be the last thing in the world you want, but sometimes you just have to learn to accept it as a pathway to peace.
I encourage everyone to go to this prayer any time things get tough. It has gotten me through a lot and helped me get back on track with life. It states one of life’s realizations in its greatest sense and to me… there is no better way to put it.
For as long as I can remember, I've encountered setbacks and instances where I am unable to achieve what I set out to do or attempt to change those things that prevent me to do so. And be it odd that I find comfort in something that originated from AA meetings, it makes so much sense.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Since I heard the Serenity Prayer years ago, I’ve come back to it time and time again when I don’t know where to go, how to handle myself in situations, or just need a change of pace. I even ended up using it as the base for a speech I gave a few years back to a youth group and I ended up looking back at that the other night just to really see how I went about myself 3 years ago. And while I was reading it, so many things just began to hit me.
• Everyday I see hundreds of people across campus, constantly relying on one another to achieve certain goals, meet deadlines or just carry out their days. I’ve also seen what happens when someone fails in doing so and the other people involved just become lost. Truth is, no matter whom we are or what we do, if we can’t hold any sense of being independent from one another or feeling like we are unable to achieve anything by ourselves, we aren’t going to get very far. Especially being in college and with so much going on around me, my time here is all about independency. I can never rely on just one person, one friend or one professor; I am going to encounter things that I will have to go through myself such as finishing a term paper, creating a proper day-to-day schedule to keep myself on track, or just make decisions that could impact me for the rest of my life. Only God knows how many decisions I’ve already had to make on my own, but with every decision came a dwelling point which brings me to my next point…
• Dwelling on the past and taking the steps to move past it is easy for some and tough for others. The acceptance that it takes to take in what goes on around you, the courage to realize it and the strength to move on go hand in hand, day after day. People are always looking for something constant, but things that seem still are still changing whether we would like to face that fact or not, and it’s something we’ll face every day. It’s where the drama originates; it’s where people become frustrated with each other, where life takes its hardest hardships. For years I have admired the ability of some people to just move on past no matter what happens to them in their lifetime without even thinking twice about how personal something may be, but it also makes me wonder how much different things could be if we all took that effect.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13
Last year, I met a woman who lost her family in the 9/11 attacks. In speaking with her, she said not a day goes by where she feels like there was something that she could have done to change what happened that day, but that all in all, what happened has happened and she must move on no matter what the circumstances. And even hearing the tone of her voice to the words she was saying, and even only knowing this woman for a few seconds just made me think about it…a woman had just lost her husband of 25 years and her twin daughters who had just graduated summa cum laude from the University of Pittsburgh, not to mention this was mostly the last family she had left and they were taken away from her. All of this was something I know I would have such a difficult time trying to overcome and probably to this day still wouldn’t be able to overcome. Tragedies of all kinds take strength, a calm mind and so much faith just to get by day in and day out.
“Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4
And to think that if someone like this woman was able to move past such a tough moment in her life, anyone should be able to say, “Hey…tomorrow is a brand new day, I need to live it one day at a time, enjoy one moment at a time and appreciate every possible second that I'm given, because no matter what may go wrong, there is the most simple of silver linings to everything.”
• I’ve never been able to understand wisdom, where it comes from, or if I’ll ever have any myself. I’ve made more than my share of foolish decisions, many which have hindered me from creating happiness for myself and for everyone around me without thinking things through or even asking for advice. And I couldn’t even begin to fathom how extremely wrong it is to just jump into something headfirst without thinking things through. I’ve been guilty of doing so time and time again, yet the more it happens, the more I learn. I may be completely selfish in doing so, but in so many instances I’ve realized the difference between what I can control and what I can’t. Which in terms, ends up bringing me right back to the beginning of the prayer.
• I’ve always been one to over-elaborate things I may encounter, but that is who I am and I can’t be disappointed with the fact that that is how things are. Yet over the past couple months, I have realized I’ve only been a mere shell of what I used to be. I have pushed people away, I have hurt those that I care about, I’ve focused on things that I shouldn’t be focused on, just not been the person I should be and thanks to that…lost close friends and people I care about.
But like I said, every time I feel lost or not myself, I find myself coming back to this prayer. It speaks for so many instances in life, especially lately and has ultimately made me realize so much: Take things a day at a time, realize and take in what happens around you no matter the smallest thing, never smother the things you love, respect anyone you come in contact with, enjoy every minute of life, and just accept the inevitable…it may be the last thing in the world you want, but sometimes you just have to learn to accept it as a pathway to peace.
I encourage everyone to go to this prayer any time things get tough. It has gotten me through a lot and helped me get back on track with life. It states one of life’s realizations in its greatest sense and to me… there is no better way to put it.
What If?
One phrase that has always bothered me for years upon years is the infamous, “What if?” theory.
Right now I sit typing away at my desk because that’s where my day has brought me.
But “what if” I decided to go out tonight? Where would I be? Sliding around the icy streets in my car? Sledding? Who knows.
“What if” I decide to sell off all my movies, games, car and laptop? What the hell would I spend my time doing?
“What if” the Cubs pulled off the trade for Jake Peavy? Who wouldn’t be a Cub anymore?
These are just a few things, some things I can’t even control, that could affect future events that I could partake in. We all face decisions like this day in and day out several hundred times a day with every step we take, every move we make (disregard the Police reference) and every thought we think. Yet it comes back around again, and whether we like to accept it or not, the “What if?” turns into an inevitability. And although it is inevitable, a phrase I always seem to hear is, “You can’t dwell on the past, it’s the future that counts”. As if you’re never to ask about the “What if’s?”
All in all, that can be one of the toughest phrases to accept when dealing in extreme circumstances such as terminal illness or death. How can you deal with life in the same sense knowing that a friend or family member is going to/ has died? How can you help from just asking what if? How can you not dwell on that one moment in time where you heard that news? Plain and simple, you can’t help but let it happen because its human nature as it always has been and always will be.
But then again…why does life have to be that way? Why does death happen at the most random of times leaving the rest of us to question ourselves, the paths we took to get to where we are and most importantly, why it had to happen? I have no clue like everyone else out there, but when I got to thinking about it and did a little reading as well, I realized a lot of things. I’ll just go in-depth with 2 of them.
1)
Chaos – A condition/place of great confusion and/or disorder
Randomness – Having no specific pattern, purpose or objective. In other words…complete disorder.
For a world that is supposedly free from all evil and chaos, there sure is a lot of stuff that happens that could be described as evil and chaotic. So what if we were left with the bit of control as to what we could change in life rather than everything just be set and created there for us? That the decisions we make shape what is going to affect people hundreds of years from now. Well…once again that sort of goes back to the whole several hundred times a day thing. It’s just a part of life. There’s no pointing of fingers and then all of a sudden something happens. It’s like the lottery no one wants to win when dealing with tragedies and all that stuff. But what if we were left with control and that is the reason for how we’ve become what we are leaving us with a bit of chaos out there.
2)
Going back to the randomness of events, what if we knew when it would be “our time” to go? Just how would that make you want to change the way you go about life? If one day you found out you were going to die 45 years, 3 months, 11 days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 23 seconds from now, would it freak you out? Could you somehow alter that time? It’s nothing but a fantasy dream or whatever you want to call it, but the moral in all of this, is just the fact that some people make me absolutely sick about life. It’s the people who don’t appreciate anything given to them, who don’t recognize the goodness people show towards them and end up giving the cold shoulder in return. Is it honestly called for? In a way, it’s that main reason as to why I’m glad I don’t know when I will pass. Now I know I have been guilty of not being the nicest time and time again, but not knowing when death will happen just really makes you appreciate everything around you and the people around you as well. You never know what life is going to throw at you, so make the most of it, take the risks, do what you think is right (even if you’re torn between two things…hell…flip a coin if that helps) and just live it.
I’ve seen young friends and old family pass away over this last year. It has been beyond difficult trying to deal with those circumstances knowing that they were cheated from life and taken earlier than I know many of us would have wanted. But I can tell you one thing, I have thought about the “what ifs?” so many times I couldn’t even count and I know they all had the “anything goes” attitude which is something we all need to live with. Like the saying goes, you only live once. And that once is now, so live it to the fullest.
Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Right now I sit typing away at my desk because that’s where my day has brought me.
But “what if” I decided to go out tonight? Where would I be? Sliding around the icy streets in my car? Sledding? Who knows.
“What if” I decide to sell off all my movies, games, car and laptop? What the hell would I spend my time doing?
“What if” the Cubs pulled off the trade for Jake Peavy? Who wouldn’t be a Cub anymore?
These are just a few things, some things I can’t even control, that could affect future events that I could partake in. We all face decisions like this day in and day out several hundred times a day with every step we take, every move we make (disregard the Police reference) and every thought we think. Yet it comes back around again, and whether we like to accept it or not, the “What if?” turns into an inevitability. And although it is inevitable, a phrase I always seem to hear is, “You can’t dwell on the past, it’s the future that counts”. As if you’re never to ask about the “What if’s?”
All in all, that can be one of the toughest phrases to accept when dealing in extreme circumstances such as terminal illness or death. How can you deal with life in the same sense knowing that a friend or family member is going to/ has died? How can you help from just asking what if? How can you not dwell on that one moment in time where you heard that news? Plain and simple, you can’t help but let it happen because its human nature as it always has been and always will be.
But then again…why does life have to be that way? Why does death happen at the most random of times leaving the rest of us to question ourselves, the paths we took to get to where we are and most importantly, why it had to happen? I have no clue like everyone else out there, but when I got to thinking about it and did a little reading as well, I realized a lot of things. I’ll just go in-depth with 2 of them.
1)
Chaos – A condition/place of great confusion and/or disorder
Randomness – Having no specific pattern, purpose or objective. In other words…complete disorder.
For a world that is supposedly free from all evil and chaos, there sure is a lot of stuff that happens that could be described as evil and chaotic. So what if we were left with the bit of control as to what we could change in life rather than everything just be set and created there for us? That the decisions we make shape what is going to affect people hundreds of years from now. Well…once again that sort of goes back to the whole several hundred times a day thing. It’s just a part of life. There’s no pointing of fingers and then all of a sudden something happens. It’s like the lottery no one wants to win when dealing with tragedies and all that stuff. But what if we were left with control and that is the reason for how we’ve become what we are leaving us with a bit of chaos out there.
2)
Going back to the randomness of events, what if we knew when it would be “our time” to go? Just how would that make you want to change the way you go about life? If one day you found out you were going to die 45 years, 3 months, 11 days, 17 hours, 9 minutes and 23 seconds from now, would it freak you out? Could you somehow alter that time? It’s nothing but a fantasy dream or whatever you want to call it, but the moral in all of this, is just the fact that some people make me absolutely sick about life. It’s the people who don’t appreciate anything given to them, who don’t recognize the goodness people show towards them and end up giving the cold shoulder in return. Is it honestly called for? In a way, it’s that main reason as to why I’m glad I don’t know when I will pass. Now I know I have been guilty of not being the nicest time and time again, but not knowing when death will happen just really makes you appreciate everything around you and the people around you as well. You never know what life is going to throw at you, so make the most of it, take the risks, do what you think is right (even if you’re torn between two things…hell…flip a coin if that helps) and just live it.
I’ve seen young friends and old family pass away over this last year. It has been beyond difficult trying to deal with those circumstances knowing that they were cheated from life and taken earlier than I know many of us would have wanted. But I can tell you one thing, I have thought about the “what ifs?” so many times I couldn’t even count and I know they all had the “anything goes” attitude which is something we all need to live with. Like the saying goes, you only live once. And that once is now, so live it to the fullest.
Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Every year it happens. On February 14, people all around wake up recognizing a holiday that sells more merchandise than Christmas. And probably in more ways than one, makes more life changing moments. Now I mean the whole purpose of Valentine’s Day is spend it with the one you love, the one that makes you happy (hopefully).
And for that main purpose is the thing that I’ve really never wrapped my mind around. I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve heard complain that Valentine’s Day is a terrible holiday, one that they dread every year and makes them unhappy. Then again, the majority of the people I hear this from are single.
As far as I’m concerned, that could be hypocrisy at its worst. But there’s that other slim margin of people who say it’s a bad holiday and they’re with someone, and their reason isn’t just because it’s a Hallmark holiday, but because their significant other didn’t want to do anything special. This in terms makes them upset and unhappy with their situation.
Really?
To this point, I’m just dumbfounded. So these people are trying to tell me they’re unhappy because – A: They don’t have anyone to be with; or B: their significant other didn’t feel the need to do anything?
I didn’t realize that you needed someone to be happy in life and/or have something go perfect or else everything goes in the crapper. Maybe I missed it along the way as I was growing up watching Laguna Beach and Singled Out. Wait…scratch that…I didn’t do that. I was enjoying myself just relaxing and taking things as they came.
“Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; --happiness; but few are going by the same road.”
Why can’t other people do this too? I mean some of you could call me a hypocrite on this whole subject at one point or another, but life is life. I do realize that some people react differently to certain subjects and aspects of life, but is it seriously necessary, especially at this point in our lives to find someone to be happy? I mean come on…most of us haven’t even reached the 1/3 mark of our lives, maybe not even the ¼ mark. But yet first thing is first, we have to find someone we can be happy with.
I’ll tell you first and foremost. Where I stand today is the happiest I have been in months. Life is on track to get to where I want to be, there are no massive distractions, family life is good and everything is on cruise control. And to top if off, I spent Valentine’s Day alone (I just got to watch the most intense basketball game ever). Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind a relationship too, but it’s nowhere near something you should base your happiness on.
Happiness is something that comes and goes, something that you have to wait for, something you have to enjoy because you never know how long it will last. Why do people think it only comes from one person that’s walking somewhere around the world that they’ll eventually run in to, but until then…all you feel is depression.
Depression is overrated as far as I’m concerned. You want happiness? Appreciate the things around you. Your friends, your family, your hobbies, the things you do in everyday life. You want happiness in a relationship? Well…if you aren’t happy in the first place, what in the world are you doing? Be happy that you’re with someone who appreciates you for you. Don’t pin too much on one day out of the 365 just because it’s labeled a “lovers day”.
Happiness is staring all of us in the face, we just have to realize it’s there and stop looking past it to the things we lead ourselves to think are needed in life to be happy. You could even go back to quoting the cheesy quotes like “Every moment you spend depressed or sad is another lost moment of happiness”. But then again…who could put it any better?
Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can't make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home
Home, home, home
And for that main purpose is the thing that I’ve really never wrapped my mind around. I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve heard complain that Valentine’s Day is a terrible holiday, one that they dread every year and makes them unhappy. Then again, the majority of the people I hear this from are single.
As far as I’m concerned, that could be hypocrisy at its worst. But there’s that other slim margin of people who say it’s a bad holiday and they’re with someone, and their reason isn’t just because it’s a Hallmark holiday, but because their significant other didn’t want to do anything special. This in terms makes them upset and unhappy with their situation.
Really?
To this point, I’m just dumbfounded. So these people are trying to tell me they’re unhappy because – A: They don’t have anyone to be with; or B: their significant other didn’t feel the need to do anything?
I didn’t realize that you needed someone to be happy in life and/or have something go perfect or else everything goes in the crapper. Maybe I missed it along the way as I was growing up watching Laguna Beach and Singled Out. Wait…scratch that…I didn’t do that. I was enjoying myself just relaxing and taking things as they came.
“Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; --happiness; but few are going by the same road.”
Why can’t other people do this too? I mean some of you could call me a hypocrite on this whole subject at one point or another, but life is life. I do realize that some people react differently to certain subjects and aspects of life, but is it seriously necessary, especially at this point in our lives to find someone to be happy? I mean come on…most of us haven’t even reached the 1/3 mark of our lives, maybe not even the ¼ mark. But yet first thing is first, we have to find someone we can be happy with.
I’ll tell you first and foremost. Where I stand today is the happiest I have been in months. Life is on track to get to where I want to be, there are no massive distractions, family life is good and everything is on cruise control. And to top if off, I spent Valentine’s Day alone (I just got to watch the most intense basketball game ever). Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind a relationship too, but it’s nowhere near something you should base your happiness on.
Happiness is something that comes and goes, something that you have to wait for, something you have to enjoy because you never know how long it will last. Why do people think it only comes from one person that’s walking somewhere around the world that they’ll eventually run in to, but until then…all you feel is depression.
Depression is overrated as far as I’m concerned. You want happiness? Appreciate the things around you. Your friends, your family, your hobbies, the things you do in everyday life. You want happiness in a relationship? Well…if you aren’t happy in the first place, what in the world are you doing? Be happy that you’re with someone who appreciates you for you. Don’t pin too much on one day out of the 365 just because it’s labeled a “lovers day”.
Happiness is staring all of us in the face, we just have to realize it’s there and stop looking past it to the things we lead ourselves to think are needed in life to be happy. You could even go back to quoting the cheesy quotes like “Every moment you spend depressed or sad is another lost moment of happiness”. But then again…who could put it any better?
Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can't make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home
Home, home, home
Remembering Emotion
So I had nothing to do for a few hours this past Friday so I decided to watch a movie. Low and behold it got me thinking, and turned into another wonderful “ranting” note. But anyways…the movie was Forrest Gump. Great movie throughout and there was one line I never really thought about until I watched it last Friday:
"You know it's funny what a young man recollects? Cause I don't remember being born, I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Why is that? People say the human body is an exceptional thing. I think of it as something rather odd. Not the whole thing in itself, but just the mind basically. For years, I have been very forgetful when it comes to the simplest of things, and I’ve wondered why I can remember things that will do me no good knowing them for the rest of my life compared to something of importance that I can’t remember.
And I know that it’s not only me, but it is everyone else out there. One of my best friends could tell you the whole dialogue to a conversation he had with his brother a few weeks back. What good will that do him? Who knows, but it sticks to his mind. Maybe it’s just the thought of happiness, or maybe it’s family, but the fact he can’t even remember his own bus route he drives every single day just baffles me.
So then I started thinking again. Maybe it is emotion, the thing that drives our actions and thoughts, that really puts into perspective all of the things we may encounter and then remember down the road.
The most two significant ones being happiness and fear.
You find me on person on this planet that doesn’t remember what they’re afraid of, I’ll show you my entire savings account. And go figure I’m going back to hypocrisy again, but I know it is one of the most difficult things to ever adhere to in life. Fear in our memories is nothing but a joke. A dull, idiotic joke that does nothing but restrain us from getting where we want to be or partake in certain events that we may never get another chance to do in our lifetime. Like I said, I wish I could go around with attitude 24/7, but I don’t…and no one else does either, but you have to start somewhere, where that somewhere is, is up to you and you alone.
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”
But let’s not forget the optimistic side to all of this. There’s so many times, in so many instances, I’ve came up with an idea of a moment that has yet to happen. It’s still a memory, but because I love the thought of it so much, it just sticks without a single piece of it leaving my mind. The same goes with actual moments of your past. Tell me that is not one of the greatest feelings in the world to just remember a good time with friends or family, and all you can think of is laughter or something happy that happened in that moment.
“Remember that happiness is a way of travel -- not a destination”
Our actions and thoughts speak on past experiences. If we had a good experience, we’re more likely to try that same thing the second time around, and vice versa goes for the bad ones. It’s only when the two coincide, that turn a simple task into a disaster. How many times have you hesitated on doing something because one thought entered your mind of something you’ve done a million times over, but that was the only time it resulted in a negative impact? This can range from just waking up on either side of the bed to well…pretty much anything. And I do realize and respect the feelings and beliefs of everyone out there, but there’s only so much your memory can control.
Now I know I jumped around from thought to thought and it’s 2 in the morning, but emotion is a cruel, yet glorious aspect of life beyond what we could possibly dream. It’s what makes us believe, remember and live for day in and day out. But knowing where to draw the line is key, losing yourself between the past and present is a dangerous thing, so go out there and…
Live this day as if it will be your last.
Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools.
Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow.
This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year.
The saddest words you can ever utter are, “If I had my life to live over again.”
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight.
Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again
"You know it's funny what a young man recollects? Cause I don't remember being born, I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Why is that? People say the human body is an exceptional thing. I think of it as something rather odd. Not the whole thing in itself, but just the mind basically. For years, I have been very forgetful when it comes to the simplest of things, and I’ve wondered why I can remember things that will do me no good knowing them for the rest of my life compared to something of importance that I can’t remember.
And I know that it’s not only me, but it is everyone else out there. One of my best friends could tell you the whole dialogue to a conversation he had with his brother a few weeks back. What good will that do him? Who knows, but it sticks to his mind. Maybe it’s just the thought of happiness, or maybe it’s family, but the fact he can’t even remember his own bus route he drives every single day just baffles me.
So then I started thinking again. Maybe it is emotion, the thing that drives our actions and thoughts, that really puts into perspective all of the things we may encounter and then remember down the road.
The most two significant ones being happiness and fear.
You find me on person on this planet that doesn’t remember what they’re afraid of, I’ll show you my entire savings account. And go figure I’m going back to hypocrisy again, but I know it is one of the most difficult things to ever adhere to in life. Fear in our memories is nothing but a joke. A dull, idiotic joke that does nothing but restrain us from getting where we want to be or partake in certain events that we may never get another chance to do in our lifetime. Like I said, I wish I could go around with attitude 24/7, but I don’t…and no one else does either, but you have to start somewhere, where that somewhere is, is up to you and you alone.
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”
But let’s not forget the optimistic side to all of this. There’s so many times, in so many instances, I’ve came up with an idea of a moment that has yet to happen. It’s still a memory, but because I love the thought of it so much, it just sticks without a single piece of it leaving my mind. The same goes with actual moments of your past. Tell me that is not one of the greatest feelings in the world to just remember a good time with friends or family, and all you can think of is laughter or something happy that happened in that moment.
“Remember that happiness is a way of travel -- not a destination”
Our actions and thoughts speak on past experiences. If we had a good experience, we’re more likely to try that same thing the second time around, and vice versa goes for the bad ones. It’s only when the two coincide, that turn a simple task into a disaster. How many times have you hesitated on doing something because one thought entered your mind of something you’ve done a million times over, but that was the only time it resulted in a negative impact? This can range from just waking up on either side of the bed to well…pretty much anything. And I do realize and respect the feelings and beliefs of everyone out there, but there’s only so much your memory can control.
Now I know I jumped around from thought to thought and it’s 2 in the morning, but emotion is a cruel, yet glorious aspect of life beyond what we could possibly dream. It’s what makes us believe, remember and live for day in and day out. But knowing where to draw the line is key, losing yourself between the past and present is a dangerous thing, so go out there and…
Live this day as if it will be your last.
Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools.
Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow.
This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year.
The saddest words you can ever utter are, “If I had my life to live over again.”
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight.
Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again
Life is Complex? Nawww...
I imagine at this point, you all are thrilled with the amount of lyrics and thoughts I’ve been pumping out this week, but reason comes with rhyme and I’ve got one more up my sleeve.
This past week has been a hellstorm in so many ways…dealing with two deaths, a boatload of tasks and work to do, etc. So with all this going on, I’ve just came to the question of why me? Why isn’t this happening to someone else? (jealously right?) As if everything was going so well (which it was) and then takes a complete 180. And by the end of this week, I’ve almost come to the conclusion of just quitting my job and taking a step back with everything. Luckily common sense kicked in and that didn’t last long, but for me, it felt like divine intervention kicked in too.
I’m sitting there at my computer typing up some stuff. And this ad just pops up. Ad blocker on? Yes. Go figure. But then I read what it says:
“Being true to yourself really means being true to all the complexities of the human spirit.”
What was it for? Plastic surgery. Advertising that over the internet? I’ll pass.
But it just immediately got me to thinking about life in general and how immensely complex it is. It’s something we don’t even think about. Through the things we do, the people we meet, the things we see, and that’s only the beginning of it. One thing depends on another and then another and then another. More or less…a food chain.
Why is that the way it is? If it’s some ridiculous test that we’re all put through, the man upstairs is really having one heck of a creative mind with the things he puts us all through. But not only that, it seems as if for a pretty large sum of us, we’re attracted to the busyness and complexities of it all. Don’t we want it simple? I know for a fact I would like a simple, happy life. But if that would be the case…would I be missing out on so much more? What would you end up choosing?
I think the best comparison to all of this is just one giant Rubik’s Cube. Not that little 3-by-3 piece of junk but something like…987329847324-by-987329847324. Which I really wouldn’t mind seeing what that would look like. But does it slowly figure itself out as life moves on? Or is it like me, and just continues to jumble it up even more and more. My money is on number two…not just because of the way I’m going at it. But because there is no way in hell life gets easier as you go along. If anything, it’s easy at first and then becomes impossible.
But back to the quote…how can you really be true to yourself through complexities? Simple. Belief in the things you’re surrounded by, not second guessing your actions as you live day in and day out and don’t conform to fit the mold, to name a few. Changing your perspective on things just because people look at you differently, is a terrible way to live life. The complexities life deals you is your own experience…something NO ONE else has. It puts unique into a whole new definition. And staying truthful to those things, is the greatest thing you could do for yourself and for the people around you regardless of what anyone could say.
What I've kept with me,
And what I've thrown away.
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary, random day
Were the things I really cared about,
Just left along the away.
For being too pent up and proud
Woke up way too late,
Feeling hungover and old.
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot down the road.
Started thinking 'bout my old man,
It seems that all I want to get into a car and go,
Anywhere.
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
Don't you know I'm numb, man
No I can't feel a thing at all
Cos it's all smiles and business these days
And I'm indifferent to the loss
I think that there's a soul somewhere
That's leading me around.
I wonder if she knows which way is down
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
I poured my heart out.
I poured my heart out.
It evaporated.
See.
Blind man on a canyon's edge
Of a panoramic scene.
Maybe I'm kite that's flying high and random
Dangling on a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room,
Head on a strangers knee.
I'm sure back home.
They think I've lost my mind.
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
This past week has been a hellstorm in so many ways…dealing with two deaths, a boatload of tasks and work to do, etc. So with all this going on, I’ve just came to the question of why me? Why isn’t this happening to someone else? (jealously right?) As if everything was going so well (which it was) and then takes a complete 180. And by the end of this week, I’ve almost come to the conclusion of just quitting my job and taking a step back with everything. Luckily common sense kicked in and that didn’t last long, but for me, it felt like divine intervention kicked in too.
I’m sitting there at my computer typing up some stuff. And this ad just pops up. Ad blocker on? Yes. Go figure. But then I read what it says:
“Being true to yourself really means being true to all the complexities of the human spirit.”
What was it for? Plastic surgery. Advertising that over the internet? I’ll pass.
But it just immediately got me to thinking about life in general and how immensely complex it is. It’s something we don’t even think about. Through the things we do, the people we meet, the things we see, and that’s only the beginning of it. One thing depends on another and then another and then another. More or less…a food chain.
Why is that the way it is? If it’s some ridiculous test that we’re all put through, the man upstairs is really having one heck of a creative mind with the things he puts us all through. But not only that, it seems as if for a pretty large sum of us, we’re attracted to the busyness and complexities of it all. Don’t we want it simple? I know for a fact I would like a simple, happy life. But if that would be the case…would I be missing out on so much more? What would you end up choosing?
I think the best comparison to all of this is just one giant Rubik’s Cube. Not that little 3-by-3 piece of junk but something like…987329847324-by-98732
But back to the quote…how can you really be true to yourself through complexities? Simple. Belief in the things you’re surrounded by, not second guessing your actions as you live day in and day out and don’t conform to fit the mold, to name a few. Changing your perspective on things just because people look at you differently, is a terrible way to live life. The complexities life deals you is your own experience…something NO ONE else has. It puts unique into a whole new definition. And staying truthful to those things, is the greatest thing you could do for yourself and for the people around you regardless of what anyone could say.
What I've kept with me,
And what I've thrown away.
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary, random day
Were the things I really cared about,
Just left along the away.
For being too pent up and proud
Woke up way too late,
Feeling hungover and old.
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot down the road.
Started thinking 'bout my old man,
It seems that all I want to get into a car and go,
Anywhere.
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
Don't you know I'm numb, man
No I can't feel a thing at all
Cos it's all smiles and business these days
And I'm indifferent to the loss
I think that there's a soul somewhere
That's leading me around.
I wonder if she knows which way is down
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
I poured my heart out.
I poured my heart out.
It evaporated.
See.
Blind man on a canyon's edge
Of a panoramic scene.
Maybe I'm kite that's flying high and random
Dangling on a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room,
Head on a strangers knee.
I'm sure back home.
They think I've lost my mind.
Here I stand,
Sad and free.
I can't cry,
And I can't see
What I've done.
Oh God what have I done?
We're Still Fighting It
I’m not really sure where to start on this one, but I just finished up another Post Secret book (The Secret Lives of Men and Women), looking through it a couple times over and watched a movie that made me realize a lot in a small amount of time. So let’s start with this…
What in the hell happens to us between the time we’re born and now? Seriously.
This movie was more geared to be funny and enjoyable and not something that just makes you take a step back and question everything, but it just made life that much more of a pain in the ass compared to how it all was when I was 5. How simple it was just to enjoy every aspect of life, find enjoyment in running through a sprinkler thinking that’s what its main purpose was, or pretending to run through some dangerous area when it’s only a slide, a couple swings and some monkey bars. Maybe not everyone did these things, but come on. Think about it.
And reading the post cards from this book…
“It’s not his baby”
“I contemplate suicide every day and if you knew why, you’d want me dead too.”
“I am creative enough to be dissatisfied, but not talented enough to find peace”
These secrets just go on and on and on. Signs of fear, disappointment, sadness. Things that no person ever wants to hear or go through. Things that we really didn’t understand or worry so much about when we were still young when we were enjoying life watching Rugrats, or contemplating whether we wanted the chicken mcnugget or hamburger happy meal hoping we would get the toy we wanted.
Everyone has worries. Everyone has those secrets or memories of something they don’t want to uncover ever again and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the worst part about it all. Things that can/will control future actions like how you spend your free time, what people you hang out with, what you want to spend your life doing, etc. Why do they have to be there? Because it’s a part of growing up? Because it’s a part of life as a whole? If so..that’s a damn poor excuse saying they “just happen”.
I realize some things like death are unavoidable…they do happen. But aside from those tragedies, why are so many people just the epitome of laziness? What is the deal with people hindering themselves from becoming fully independent people? Fearful of the results they may encounter down the road?
I just don’t understand it and maybe I never will because I know I have these problems too. I couldn’t tell you the amount of opportunities I have missed because of something that arose from my past that I know 15 years ago, I wouldn’t have given a care in the world to what that hindering obstacle may be. And I absolutely hate it.
Even to build on that, on a word which I absolutely hate and drive people to do idiotic things day in and day out…conforming. Back in the glory days of our old band Silent Reproach, we had a saying, “Never Conform”. Never change the way you go about things just because something may be in style or everyone else is doing it. And you can’t tell me this drives a good amount of people out there when they were growing up and have a decent amount to do with how some people stand today.
I can give you the names of three people I know who just cling to the closest person to them and mimic/talk about everything those people do and just end up following suit. I absolutely hate it. It’s that fear. It’s something that has gone from simplicity of doing what you enjoy doing to something that everyone else has just tagged on to. The need to be accepted and thought of as this decent person.
Yeah, I understand that people change and that it’s their own choice to do those things, but how many times is it influenced? The choice of boxing up all motivation in some solitary shell opposed to just going on some auto-pilot move and following the closest thing that moves.
I know I’ve repeated myself a few times in all of this, but if I had the choice to be where I am now to where I was 15 years ago, you have no idea how quickly I would rush back to just staying young forever. Not having to worry about all the small things like money and work, letting your mind run wild, getting snacks in class (come on…who didn’t enjoy that? One awesome memory I remember back in grade school is when someone had a birthday and brought in McDonald’s for everyone…now that was a good school lunch) and overall just being carefree with life.
I know everyone has their separate paths on how they live, I know there will be your assholes, douchebags, liars, cheaters or any other bad thing you could think of, I know issues like this just don’t disappear and we all deal with them, and I know that life will be complex no matter what we may attempt to do in life be it on our own or through the actions of others.
Just take a minute and reminisce of all those times way back when. Even thinking about old tv shows from back in the day and thinking, “I completely forgot about that show, I watched it every day, I loved it”. The majority of the things from back then you remember are going to be those goofy times when nothing really stood out as far as worries.
A lot of people say they can’t wait to grow up, I wonder why people want to put up with all the complexities of life instead of staying young and enjoying every small piece of it, but then again…most people have no idea what they’re getting themselves into when they get older. For all I care I can be the only one in the boat on this one and that’s ok. Just let life be, don’t let it control you…you need to control it and remember it doesn’t last long and you never know when it will stop.
Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combos only $9.95
Its okay, you dont have to pay
Ive got all the change
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe well both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Youll try and try and one day youll fly
Away from me
Good morning, son
I am a bird
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
Tt hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Oh, were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
And by the way...for those of you who don't know what Post Secret is, google it and check it out. It's an eye opener. And thank you to the person who showed it to me. Even though I haven't talked to you in over 2 years.
What in the hell happens to us between the time we’re born and now? Seriously.
This movie was more geared to be funny and enjoyable and not something that just makes you take a step back and question everything, but it just made life that much more of a pain in the ass compared to how it all was when I was 5. How simple it was just to enjoy every aspect of life, find enjoyment in running through a sprinkler thinking that’s what its main purpose was, or pretending to run through some dangerous area when it’s only a slide, a couple swings and some monkey bars. Maybe not everyone did these things, but come on. Think about it.
And reading the post cards from this book…
“It’s not his baby”
“I contemplate suicide every day and if you knew why, you’d want me dead too.”
“I am creative enough to be dissatisfied, but not talented enough to find peace”
These secrets just go on and on and on. Signs of fear, disappointment, sadness. Things that no person ever wants to hear or go through. Things that we really didn’t understand or worry so much about when we were still young when we were enjoying life watching Rugrats, or contemplating whether we wanted the chicken mcnugget or hamburger happy meal hoping we would get the toy we wanted.
Everyone has worries. Everyone has those secrets or memories of something they don’t want to uncover ever again and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the worst part about it all. Things that can/will control future actions like how you spend your free time, what people you hang out with, what you want to spend your life doing, etc. Why do they have to be there? Because it’s a part of growing up? Because it’s a part of life as a whole? If so..that’s a damn poor excuse saying they “just happen”.
I realize some things like death are unavoidable…they do happen. But aside from those tragedies, why are so many people just the epitome of laziness? What is the deal with people hindering themselves from becoming fully independent people? Fearful of the results they may encounter down the road?
I just don’t understand it and maybe I never will because I know I have these problems too. I couldn’t tell you the amount of opportunities I have missed because of something that arose from my past that I know 15 years ago, I wouldn’t have given a care in the world to what that hindering obstacle may be. And I absolutely hate it.
Even to build on that, on a word which I absolutely hate and drive people to do idiotic things day in and day out…conforming. Back in the glory days of our old band Silent Reproach, we had a saying, “Never Conform”. Never change the way you go about things just because something may be in style or everyone else is doing it. And you can’t tell me this drives a good amount of people out there when they were growing up and have a decent amount to do with how some people stand today.
I can give you the names of three people I know who just cling to the closest person to them and mimic/talk about everything those people do and just end up following suit. I absolutely hate it. It’s that fear. It’s something that has gone from simplicity of doing what you enjoy doing to something that everyone else has just tagged on to. The need to be accepted and thought of as this decent person.
Yeah, I understand that people change and that it’s their own choice to do those things, but how many times is it influenced? The choice of boxing up all motivation in some solitary shell opposed to just going on some auto-pilot move and following the closest thing that moves.
I know I’ve repeated myself a few times in all of this, but if I had the choice to be where I am now to where I was 15 years ago, you have no idea how quickly I would rush back to just staying young forever. Not having to worry about all the small things like money and work, letting your mind run wild, getting snacks in class (come on…who didn’t enjoy that? One awesome memory I remember back in grade school is when someone had a birthday and brought in McDonald’s for everyone…now that was a good school lunch) and overall just being carefree with life.
I know everyone has their separate paths on how they live, I know there will be your assholes, douchebags, liars, cheaters or any other bad thing you could think of, I know issues like this just don’t disappear and we all deal with them, and I know that life will be complex no matter what we may attempt to do in life be it on our own or through the actions of others.
Just take a minute and reminisce of all those times way back when. Even thinking about old tv shows from back in the day and thinking, “I completely forgot about that show, I watched it every day, I loved it”. The majority of the things from back then you remember are going to be those goofy times when nothing really stood out as far as worries.
A lot of people say they can’t wait to grow up, I wonder why people want to put up with all the complexities of life instead of staying young and enjoying every small piece of it, but then again…most people have no idea what they’re getting themselves into when they get older. For all I care I can be the only one in the boat on this one and that’s ok. Just let life be, don’t let it control you…you need to control it and remember it doesn’t last long and you never know when it will stop.
Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combos only $9.95
Its okay, you dont have to pay
Ive got all the change
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe well both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Youll try and try and one day youll fly
Away from me
Good morning, son
I am a bird
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
Tt hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Oh, were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
And by the way...for those of you who don't know what Post Secret is, google it and check it out. It's an eye opener. And thank you to the person who showed it to me. Even though I haven't talked to you in over 2 years.
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